On Being Trans, Being LGBTQIA, and Being Moral

I am a trans woman, and I am not an immoral person. I do not need to be “fixed” or advised on why I should ask a higher power to show me who I “really am.” I know who I really am; I am a daughter, a sister, an aunt, and a niece. I am Olivia, and I am neither confused nor deceived. 

            When we think of morals, what do we imagine. Stop for a moment and think about where your concept of morals come from. The dictionary definition of morals is “a person's standards of behavior or beliefs concerning what is and is not acceptable for them to do.” Please reread that last little bit; morals are not your standards for wit is acceptable for me to do, but what is acceptable for you to do. Are your morals based in Christianity, Islam, Judaism, Hinduism, Buddhism, or secular standards? If on person’s morals are rooted in Christianity and another’s in Hinduism, do either have the right to impose all of their morals on the other? I do not want this post to center on religion; instead, I want to call attention to the fact that many morals are relative to the person and that your morals should guide you and mine should guide me. 

            In order for society to function, there are some moralistic behaviors that we all expect from each other.  Murder, rape, and theft should be unacceptable behavior for anyone. Lying is generally wrong, unless someone asks if their ugly baby is cute. There are other moralistic behaviors that we all, typically, agree on. However, there are some that are not universal. Jewish people do not eat pork, but that is a moral based in their belief system; and, they do not attempt to impose that behavior on the rest of society. Muslim women cover their hair, but the vast majority of Muslim people do not attempt to impose this behavior on non-Muslims. Why, then, do so many people in the United States feel that their faith based moral standards concerning sexuality and binary gender behavior should be imposed on all of society? I am not claiming that all Christians attempt to impose their faith based morals on others, but it is apparent that many do.  In fact, I have the upmost respect for those who live by the moral teaching of their religious documents without attempting to impose them on me, or you, or anyone else. 

            I firmly believe that the most important moral behavior in any society is to love others and treat them with kindness and respect. From this behavior, not killing, raping, and stealing follows. If religious tenants determine the moral behaviors that you impose upon yourself, I respect you and encourage to continue if that is what leads to fulfillment in my life. However, your moral behaviors should not determine what others do in their lives. Judging and condemning out of “love” is not really love. Love is kind, judgement and condemnation are not. I will never ask you to conform to my standards. I will not ask you to preform gay marriage in your church; I will never ask you to change your beliefs for me. I will ask for mutual respect, I will ask you to understand that religious freedom not only protects your freedom to believe and act a certain way, but it also protects me from the imposition of those beliefs upon my existence. I will ask you not to judge others, and I will ask you to let gay people get married outside of your church; I will ask you to let me go to the restroom in peace. I will ask you to remember that your faith based morals should determine your behavior and not mine. 

            I have fantastic support from many people of faith, and I thank them from the bottom of my heart for understanding the non-judgement tenant. Yes, I am a moral person. I hold hate for no one, even those who hate me. I am proud to be who I am, but I will never force anyone to accept me; I will, however, ask you to at least let me be me. Let me be happy. 

Olivia